Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Tear Stained

Today was a bad day. The kind of day that you finally give in and admit that you aren't as tough as you want others to believe you are. The kind of day you finally break. You spend the day in tears. Because it's all you know to do. I have worries. I have fears. I am just like everyone else.

And then comes my favorite time of the day. At night when I get to put Carter to bed. I can snuggle up with him in the rocking chair and breathe in his baby smell, and all my insecurities are washed away for the moment. Tonight I needed him more then he needed me. Yet he was so clingy, twirling his fingers through my hair, but didn't ask to nurse. He is weaning, and I know he is ready as he asks less and less, but tonight he just wanted to climb on my lap with his latest animal friend and rock. And I held him longer then I had to, long after he was sound asleep. After my arm had gone numb. After I wiped the final tear from my eye.

9 Comments:

Blogger InTheFastLane said...

I have had days like this. The rocking helps. It will be sad when there are no more babies to hold.

11:38 AM  
Blogger Tracey said...

Ah, Robin... Hope tomorrow is much better. We all have days like those.

Glad he sensed that you needed the extra cuddles...

2:53 PM  
Blogger Happi said...

((((HUGS)))) Robin.

I had that kind of day today.

Hope it's been a better couple of days.

Happi

7:15 PM  
Blogger Mimi's Toes said...

Awh, now I have to wipe my tears! Isn't it amazing how holding our child is the medicine we need sometimes. I hope you have brighter days. It's ok though to tear up.

1:47 PM  
Blogger Lu said...

Oh goodness I've had these days!

8:15 PM  
Blogger Not Just Any Jen said...

Oh, I am so sorry that you had a rough day. feel better!
Jen

8:13 PM  
Blogger Butterfly Mama said...

Oh, sending hugs!! I've SO been there - many nights!

Hugs,
Heidi

12:43 AM  
OpenID mamasnest said...

Just reading this... Hope whatever was so heavy has passed or that you're hanging in there! Xoxo

12:41 AM  
Anonymous casual friday everyday said...

We are all entitled to one of those days. The beautiful thing is we usually feel better the next day...I hope that was the case for you.

Nell :--)

7:58 PM  

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